Beloved Queen of Heaven,
I have been down below for a while, beloved. I think you would understand.
It did not happen all at once. It happened one gate at a time. First the person I lost. Then the version of myself who did not yet know grief. Then the energy I used to have. Then the friendships that drifted. Then the sense that things would be all right. Gate after gate, something taken, until I stood in a dark place with nothing left that I recognized as mine.
And then I learned your story. The Queen of Heaven, who chose to go down into the underworld. At each of seven gates, something was taken from her: her crown, her jewels, her robe, until she arrived stripped of everything, and was struck down, and hung on a hook in the dark for three days.
But that is not where your story ends. That is the middle.
Because before you went down, you told your faithful friend Ninshubur: if I do not return, go and ask for help. And she did. She went from door to door until someone listened. And help came, and you rose, and you came back up through all seven gates into the light.
I have been so afraid to ask for help, beloved. I have been everyone else's Ninshubur. I forgot that I am allowed to have one too.
So I am looking up for your star in the morning sky. Teach me that the descent is not the end. Teach me how to come back.
I
Her Storythe descent through seven gates
Ishtar, called Inanna by the Sumerians, was the greatest goddess of ancient Mesopotamia, the land between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, in what is now Iraq. She was worshipped for more than three thousand years. She was the goddess of love and desire, of war and courage, of justice and political power. She was called the Queen of Heaven.
She was the planet Venus, the brightest point of light in the sky after the sun and moon, appearing as the morning star before dawn and the evening star after sunset. Her symbol was an eight-pointed star, like the one in her crown in the image at the top of this letter. Her animal was the lion. The great Ishtar Gate of Babylon, built around 575 BCE and covered in glazed blue bricks, was lined with striding lions in her honor.
Some of the oldest poems in the world were written to her. Around 2300 BCE, a woman named Enheduanna, the daughter of King Sargon of Akkad and high priestess at the city of Ur, wrote hymns to Inanna that still survive. She is the first author in human history whose name we know. The first known writer was a woman, writing to a goddess.
Inanna's most famous story is the Descent to the Underworld, written down in Sumerian nearly four thousand years ago. She decides to go down to the Great Below, the land of the dead, ruled by her sister Ereshkigal. Before she goes, she gives careful instructions to her loyal friend and minister, Ninshubur: if Inanna does not return in three days, Ninshubur must go to the gods and ask for help.
Inanna descends. At each of the seven gates of the underworld, the gatekeeper takes something from her: her crown, her necklace, her beads, her breastplate, her gold ring, her measuring rod, and finally her royal robe. She arrives before her sister with nothing at all. Ereshkigal fixes her with the eye of death, and Inanna is struck down and hung on a hook.
Three days pass. Ninshubur keeps her promise. She goes from god to god, asking for help. Two refuse. The third, Enki, the god of wisdom and fresh water, listens.
Enki shapes two small beings from the dirt beneath his fingernails and sends them down to the underworld. When they arrive, they find Ereshkigal in pain, groaning in grief. They do not argue with her or trick her. They simply grieve with her, echoing every cry: oh, your inside, oh, your outside. Moved that someone has finally shared her sorrow, Ereshkigal offers them a gift, and they ask for Inanna. They sprinkle her with the food and water of life, and she rises.
She was rescued because a friend asked for help, and because someone was willing to sit with another's grief.
Inanna comes back up through the seven gates and returns to the light. The story goes on, and it is complicated: the dead require someone to take her place. But the heart of it endures. The Queen of Heaven went into the dark, lost everything, and came back.
In the image at the top of this letter, she rests with her chin on her hand, gazing upward, an eight-pointed star in her crown. A lioness sleeps against her. Behind her, carved in stone, is a winged goddess with lions and a star, like the old reliefs of Mesopotamia. She has come back from below, and she is looking up.
II
Her Symbolismwhere to find her
✷The eight-pointed star
Her oldest symbol, the planet Venus, shining in her crown in the image above. The morning star rises before the sun; the evening star lingers after it sets. Even at the edges of the dark, she is bright.
♌The lion
Her sacred animal, which lined the great Ishtar Gate of Babylon. A lioness sleeps against her in the image above: power at rest, not needing to prove anything. Courage does not always roar.
▯The seven gates
At each gate of the underworld, something was taken from her. In your life, these are the losses that come one after another: a person, a role, a certainty, an old version of yourself. Losing them did not make her less of a queen.
♡Ninshubur
Her faithful friend, who went from door to door asking for help when Inanna could not ask for herself. In your life she is the friend who shows up, keeps calling, and refuses to let you disappear. Who is yours? And whose are you?
◡Shared grief
The two small beings did not rescue Inanna by force. They grieved alongside her sister Ereshkigal, and that compassion opened the way. Sometimes the way out of the dark is through someone being willing to feel it with you.
◖The pomegranate
Split open at her side in the image above. The pomegranate was a beloved fruit across the ancient Near East, full of seeds, full of life. A sign of abundance returning after the dark.
☥The water of life
Enki's messengers sprinkled her with the food and water of life, and she rose. In your life, it is everything that nourishes you back: rest, good food, sunlight, being held, being heard.
✦The ones who came back
She is with everyone who has gone through the dark and returned. Everyone who lost everything at the gates and slowly put on their crown again. And with everyone still below, waiting for their Ninshubur to come.
III
An Intentiongoing down, and coming back
When you sit with Ishtar, the question is not how do I avoid the dark.
The question is: what have I lost at the gates, and who could I ask to help me come back?
Hold this gently. Some seasons strip us down. Grief, illness, caregiving, endings. Gate after gate, we lose things we thought were ours to keep. It is natural to feel diminished.
But Inanna's story says: the descent is not the end of the story. It is the middle.
Set the intention this season to believe in your return. Not to rush it. Not to pretend you are not below. Only to know that the way back up exists, gate by gate.
And here is the deeper invitation: let someone be your Ninshubur. Inanna did not climb out alone. She had told a friend ahead of time what to do. She was rescued because someone asked for help, and someone answered. Asking is not weakness. It was the whole plan.
Look up for the morning star. Call your friend. Begin to climb.
IV
A Visualizationthe seven gates
Find a quiet place to sit, and if you can, a window where you can see the sky. Rest your hands on your knees. Close your eyes and breathe slowly.
You are standing at the top of a long, winding stairway that leads down into the dark. You know you have already been down there. Part of you is still there.
Walk down slowly. At the first gate, notice what was taken from you. Say its name silently. Keep walking. At the second gate, another. At the third, the fourth, the fifth, the sixth. At the seventh gate, you stand in the dark with nothing left that you recognize. Breathe here. You are allowed to feel it.
Then, far above, you hear a voice calling your name. It is someone who loves you. They have been asking for help. They have not given up on you.
Two small figures appear beside you in the dark, gentle and kind. They do not tell you to cheer up. They simply sit with you and feel what you feel, and you feel less alone.
They hold out a cup of clear water and a small piece of bread. You take them. Something warm moves through you. You find that you can stand.
You turn and begin to climb. At the seventh gate, a woman stands waiting, crowned with an eight-pointed star, a lioness resting at her feet. She hands you back the first thing you lost, not as it was, but changed, and yours again.
Climb gate by gate. At each one, receive something back: your strength, your laughter, your voice, your sense of who you are. Some things return different. That is all right.
At the top of the stairs, you step out into the cool air just before dawn. Low in the east, one bright star is shining. She came back. So can you.
Stand in that morning light as long as you like. When you are ready, feel your hands on your knees, take a long breath, and open your eyes.
V
An Invocationto speak aloud
Ishtar and Inanna come from ancient Mesopotamia, the land of modern Iraq, and are honored today by some modern Pagans. Speak this as a guest, looking up if you can see the sky.
Ishtar,
Inanna,
Queen of Heaven,
star of morning and of evening,
you who went down through seven gates
and came back:
I call you to this room.
I call you to the one
who has lost things at the gates,
who has been down below
longer than she ever told anyone.
Remind me that the descent
is the middle of the story,
not the end.
Remind me that you were stripped of everything
and were still the Queen of Heaven.
Give me the courage to ask for help.
Give me a Ninshubur,
and make me one for someone else.
Let someone sit with my grief
and feel it with me,
until I can stand.
Morning star,
I am coming back.
So it is. So it is. So it is.
VI
A Ritual in Her Honorthe seven gates and the return
You will need · tick as you gather
IThe Setting
Lay out the seven small things you can wear, in a row. Set the water and bread or fruit beside them.
Say softly: Ishtar, Queen of Heaven, I have been down below. I have come to remember the way back.
IIThe Seven Gates
On each strip of paper, write one thing you have lost or set down in this hard season: a person, a role, a hope, a habit, a version of yourself. You may not have seven. Use as many as are true.
Read each one aloud slowly. After each, say: this was taken at the gate. Let yourself feel it.
IIIThe Water of Life
Drink the water and eat the bread or fruit slowly, the way Enki's messengers brought Inanna the food and water of life.
Notice what nourishes you now. Rest a moment before you rise.
IVThe Return
Now put on your seven small things, one at a time, the way Inanna received her crown and jewels back as she climbed up through the gates.
With each, name something you are reclaiming: my voice, my laughter, my rest, my strength, my friendships, my creativity, my sense of myself. It does not have to be fully back. You are reclaiming it as you go.
VNinshubur
Send one message to someone who could be your Ninshubur. It can be simple: I've been having a hard time. Could we talk this week? Or send one to someone you sense is below right now: Thinking of you. I'm here.
Keep the strips of paper in a small envelope. If a morning is clear this week, step outside before dawn and look low in the east for the brightest point of light. That is Venus, her star, rising. Say: She came back. So will I.
Keep small jewelry and any pomegranate or fruit out of reach of pets and young children. Avoid lilies like those in the image, which are dangerous to cats. If you step outside before dawn, choose a safe, familiar spot. And if you feel you have been down below for a long time, please reach out to someone you trust, a counselor, or your doctor. Asking for help was always part of the way back.
VII
A Final Wordyou are coming back
Beloved, I want you to know this:
You may have lost so much, gate after gate, that you hardly recognize yourself. You may feel you have been down in the dark longer than anyone knows.
Inanna lost everything at the gates. Her crown, her jewels, her robe, her life. And she was still the Queen of Heaven.
She came back because a friend kept asking for help, and because someone was willing to sit with grief instead of running from it.
You do not have to climb out alone. You are allowed to ask. You are allowed to have a Ninshubur. And you are allowed to be one for someone else.
Put your crown back on, one small thing at a time. Some things will come back changed. That is all right. A queen who has been to the underworld knows things a queen who never went down will never know.
And on some clear morning this week, look east before the sun. Her star will be there.
The descent was the middle of your story, beloved. You are coming back.
With love and star-crowned, open hands,
the one writing to you,
and the one who is also you,
and the one who went down through the gates
and is climbing back.
Back to the Divine Feminine